I recently got a great haircut, I mean really great, my new stylist is a magician - in spite of the fact that she would be a shoe-in for the lead in a Tim Burton movie. Actually, I didn't find her, an extroverted friend (EF) of mine insisted that I give her a try - and since she scheduled the appointment, drove me to it, and took me to Happy Hour after, how could I resist? EF would have normally gone to appointment number two with me, but she couldn't make it. Once the introduction was made though, three is a crowd, so that was perfectly fine with me. I know that's an old cliche, but its more of a mantra when you're a Class A introvert like myself. However, this meant no Happy Hour so, *Cue the sigh*.
After the initial 'what do you do' and other socially required niceties, we started talking about my friend. Stylist tells me she got a picture of EF at EF's daughter's baby shower. What?? I couldn't believe my ears. When EF sent me said pic, it made sense as EF and I have been friends for 14 years. Why on earth she would send the picture to Stylist is so far beyond me I can't grasp it. Then it hit me. Obviously she sent the pic to probably every woman in her phone. Holy Hell-fire batman who does that? Clueless extroverts, that's who.
Oh, but that was just the beginning. Apparently EF actually invited Stylist to the baby shower! Yup. EF thinks because she's had three, yes three, haircuts from Stylist she's entitled to insinuate herself in Stylist's life and that Stylist must be interested in her amazing everything, right. Wow. That's ballsy and in my introverted opinion, rude as hell.
I know I harp on the differences between introverts and extroverts, but that's because I am astonished, and experience new mind-blowing examples of this phenomenon, almost daily. Introverts are readers of other people's cues, expressions, tones, levels of friendliness, and commonalities to get a sense of the type of connection that is developing. Ssllowwwwwly. Clueless Extroverts couldn't give a shit about any of that, they'll just jump right in and assume you're as excited to hear about the details of their wonderful life as they are to share it. But don't worry, it's not a two way street, they don't want to hear about any of the details of your life any more than you want to share.
We are the original odd couple. Me just trying to go about my business while she runs amok. Going anywhere with EF - to a happy hour, shopping, or even for a walk on
a quiet trail, means bracing myself for her incessant (read: embarrassing) need to talk
with total strangers. When I say talk with, I really mean talk to as
she is not terribly interested in listening part. If passers-by don't pay attention to her, never fear, she'll sick her extroverted little yapper on them. The retractable leash is the perfect tool for just such a job. She allows the little prop to run up to, and right in front of, unsuspecting joggers who then hear "Oh, Painintheass (not her real name), not everyone wants to play with you haha, sorry!" Sorry? Sorry my dog made you lurch-stop/stumble nearly shredding your meniscus. Then it's "You can pet her if you want, she LOVES people!" Wehell, Yay!
Even without the damn dog, EF is a master at starting a conversation where no one else is looking for one. More than once she's breathlessly told me how she 'was shopping one day and this woman came up to her
and complimented her necklace and told her how cute she looked.' Um, yeah I'm guessing
that's not exactly the way this little tete-a-tete transpired. I'm sure EF shelled out an insincere compliment for the thinly disguised purpose
of getting one back, providing her a well-calculated springboard for
launching one of her classic one-sided conversations. I've seen it a
thousand times, and I've become fairly adept at recognizing it before it
even starts - seriously, I have started to actually feel her looking around for a victim - and I'll slink away quietly while avoiding eye contact with the poor patsy. I don't need that guilt by association look.
So, while sitting in front of the mirror at appointment number two it was pretty clear, Stylist and me are kindred introverted spirits, kintrospirits if you will. (I wonder if I can get that to catch on...nope don't care enough). It's not that we didn't talk, we actually had a very pleasant and balanced conversation about our introverted life in general, and about how an introverted hair stylist makes it through a day of small talk with numerous people, many of whom are deathly afraid of silence.
So why do I keep coming back for more when even EF drives me nuts, embarrasses me, and has never listened to a word I've thought? I love her dearly. I know it makes little sense that I have so many extroverted friends. I
think its because if it weren't for extroverts, I wouldn't talk to
anyone. Maybe I am drawn to them because they're easy to talk to,
or, more accurately, be talked at by. Even us introverts need a social outlet when the mood strikes, and quite often we have to force ourselves. I've found that taking advantage of the perks of a clueless extrovert can make social interaction easier. Like the fact that I NEVER have to keep the conversation going.
But I will never be able to grasp how can anyone think that their hair stylist of a few months wants to go to their daughter's baby shower? Seriously!
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